PI LAMBDA PHI ALUMNI ASSOCIATION BULLETIN - JANUARY 2002


"GODFATHER" FIGURE BASKETBALL COACH ROTH (STEIN) AT JANUARY 16 DINNER

Shadowy "Godfather" figure, Sol Roth, who died, then changed his name to Ron Rothstein and went on to die again as the initial coach of the Miami Heat highlights the January 16 dinner meeting of the alumni association.

Gosh, we were so proud to have a Jewish guy be the inaugural coach of Your Miami Heat. Thank God, a goy, Pat Riley, will, wrest the title from him as "Coach of the Worst Heat Team Ever" by the end of the current basketball season. In the interim, Ron ne Sol is currently enjoying success with the inaugural Miami Sol. Unfortunately the confusion about the root of the nickname has resulted in attendance by a limited number and type of fan as follows: (1) Teenage Jewish girls who are terribly confused about their career prospects. (2) Jewish relatives of the players (3) Perverted old Jewish guys who like to watch young nubile athletic women running around in shorts, their lithe bodies gleaming with light perspiration as (Whoops, I got carried away). Anyway, you get the picture.

The dinner will be held where else but at scandal-plagued Monty's on Bayshore Drive in the Grove. I forget the address. We'll have cocktails at 7:00 p.m. and dinner at 8:00 p.m. and you have to call Stan Newmark at 305-670-7826 to RSVP. Did I mention that the date is Wednesday, January 16, 2002.

PLIP BLIPS: Ezra Krieg, national PLP figure, had a wonderful New Year's day party to which none of you were invited because it was a very classy affair. . .Joe Fleming opted to join fratre Shep King at Greenberg Traurig. He has not been seen since. . .This report just in, Moke Frank is either a bankruptcy lawyer or in bankruptcy; Stan was not clear on this. . .Another vague report from Stan: Joe Jacoby is "Dick Anderson's partner, former prez of Beth Am". Apparently, Anderson was the first non-Jewish President of Beth Am. Indeed, he was the first person who was not even a member of the congregation to have served as President of Beth Am. This part of the report is probably wrong also, that Joe Jacoby played linebacker for Edison High. No Jewish boy could possibly have been dumb enough to participate in an activity whose predominate feature is that you hit your head against the heads of other people. . .Sam Slom is still on the County Court and lost 75 pounds. We are not sure if this refers to his weight or reference to the British monetary unit prior to adoption of the Eurodollar. . .The 2nd Annual Bob Brooks Birthday Memorial Golf Tournament was attended by an equal number of Pi Lams and Teps. Tom Singer had the lowest gross score, 98, of which he is extremely embarrassed. Gary Brooks had the lowest net score. Notably, Teps had the highest scores and had to make the biggest contributions to the Bob Brooks charity which benefits children with cancer. . .Until this point I had not mentioned Terry Reisman:. . .Here is the important thing about Terry: he is still disabled and totally entitled to the disability benefits he is receiving. This is a formal publication under Florida Statutes which may be used in establishing public knowledge of a disability. Those of you other Pi Lam doctors who are receiving disability benefits, and I assume it is virtually all of you, may want to pay a small stipend to the editor of the Bulletin to have your disability announced in a publication of general circulation which under Florida law includes this Bulletin. . .Harvey Miller and Morris Futernick made so much money during their working days that you can hardly see them anymore, even when they are standing right in front of you. . .The Honorable Robert Shevin, who has attained recent prominence as an appellate judge, still up to his old tricks when he was a brother at Florida Delta. After recent oral argument, I found a bottle filled with urine propped against the side of my car so that when I opened the door, it spilled into the interior of my car. . . On the other hand, Judge Allen Gold is a relatively recent inductee into the Miami Beach High School Hall of Fame. He has sustained his sense of dignity. On the other hand, my dreams are still plagued by the image of Bob Shevin slamming jail cell doors. By the way, did you ever notice that there was never anybody in those jail cells? So who was Bob locking in? Nobody, that's whom. The voters realized this. . .Norm Goldenberg in town for Stan Newmark's big New Year's Eve bash. Surprisingly, a number of you who consider yourselves to be fairly close to Stan were not invited. Why don't you ask him why. . .

EDITOR'S CAVEAT: On a number of occasions, the editor of the Bulletin is accosted by persons who congratulate him on how funny the Bulletin is. For some reason, these persons think that the editor knows who they are and, even more presumptively, what their names are. Rarely, does the editor know who you are and what your name is. This is due to a combination of (1) senior moments and (2) nobody really knows who you are and what your name is and quite frankly, nobody really gives a damn.

DINNER MEETING, Wednesday, January 16, 2002, at MONTY's, 7:00 p.m., RSVP STAN 305-670-7826

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