Anyway, our guest on the 28th will be Don Strock, former Dolphin quarterback and designated Head of Football Operations at Florida International University which does not have any football operations. The FIU football team is expected to reflect the personality of its head of operations; it won't play very many games and FIU alumni will generally be praying that the first string head of football operations will get better soon so that Strock doesn't have to be in charge for the next game.

During his 14 years as a Miami Dolphin, Strock set a number of team records: (1) most games on the active roster without the necessity of his uniform having to be laundered after the game; (2) longest known case of amal proboscis - 14 years. This little discussed disease is contracted through prolonged contact between the afflicted party's nose and the rectum of another person (the person here being Don Shula); (3) most clipboards purchased at Office Depot - $268; (4) most minutes spent in a football career wearing a baseball hat - 8,000.

Here are the instructions for enrolling your child at the University of Florida Law School: approach the law school by taking Fred Levin Avenue (formerly University Avenue); make a left on to Fred Levin Street; enter Fred Levin Administration Building; check in child at Fred Levin Dormitory; visit Fred Levin Classroom Building and Fred Levin Law Library. According to Newmark, Fred Levin recently won the "Big Pi Award". Now here is my question: how does a guy win the "Big Pi Award", when he has enough money to give the law school $10,000,000 but did not have enough money to enable the fraternity house to be renovated before it folded? Fred Levin will be at the meeting to justify himself, By the way, Chuck Steinmetz also won the "Big Pi Award."

Jay Rossin and Stan Newmark won the Eddie Goldman Award and Eddie Goldman won the Stan Newmark Award at a recent Pilam convention. The 75th Anniversary of the Chapter, which no longer exists, will take place in Gainesville April 28 and 29, 2000, Y2K permitting, Eliot Kleinberg is in charge.

Good news - bad news: Scott Osman and David Lipcon are new young fathers. DNA show that their children have the same father. We do not know who that is. Andy Bernstein and Mark Schwartz recently got married and is getting married, respectively. I assume that women are in the picture although Newmark was very vague about this. The Bulletin does not recently care because The Bulletin supports sexual orientation of all forms. After all, we did feature "Sex with the Animals" at a recent meeting. Perhaps, the new children are the product of the education received at that meeting.

TEP HIGHLIGHTS

As you can tell by the above, nothing has happened to any Pilams since the last Bulletin. here is some news about Teps: Harry Shorestein (1962) has become nationally prominent as State Attorney for Jacksonville...Howie Rosen, whose first two passes your editor intercepted in the pledge game of 1958, could no longer live with the shame and moved to Weston. Tommy Singer, finally out of the closet, admitting that at heart he was and is a Tep, now hangs out with Teps...Mike Grossman, former high school basketball and football player, cannot break 100 in golf although he plays five times a week...Billy Pine (1962) wrote a record record by Simon and Garfunkle entitled "Still Greasy After All These Years" which moved to 37th position two months ago.

DINNER MEETING, OCTOBER 28, 1999 AT MONTY'S BAYSHORE. 7:00 PM, RSVP (305) 670-7826.

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